Loving Yourself & Saying It Aloud


Loving Yourself & Saying It Aloud

I’ve started added a disclosure to my more personal posts. My words are never to be taken as a “me v. you” or an “us v. them” mentality. These pages are full of a broken hearted, Jesus loving girl who wants to be a citizen of the world, without having to leave her house. If you are offended by anything contained herein, please know, that was not my intent.

This online place is my couch, if you do not approve of the furnishings, go. I do not hold enough anger or resentment to allow it to taint me any longer. But if you are pissed, struggling, over flowing with joy, searching for meaning, learning to cook, screaming at your kids while crying over their growth charts, welcome home. Believe me when I tell you that you are most welcome here. Like they say at Disney World, Welcome Home. 

A few weeks ago, I asked a photographer friend of mine at Double J Photography to take some head shots for me. I needed to update the pics on my social media and my blog because it had bee years, but it still felt weird. As a grown ass woman, asking another grownup “Hey, will you follow me around and take some pictures?” Just odd. Right?

If you know me in real life or follow me on Instagram, you are probably very aware that I have been doing crazy things to my hair for awhile. It was purple, then green/teal/purple and then it was time to try blue. Just in time for my photography appointment.

I really cannot explain my experimentation with my hair. Someone asked me a few weeks ago “Does it mean anything?” And all I could come up with was “I just love it.” As the oldest of three kids, I suppose that being OCD and always striving to make something of myself meant I didn’t have a whole lot of fun growing up. My little sister often reminded me that I was too young to be acting so old.

When I took the last year off from practicing law, I made a list of what I wanted to do. Purple hair was on the list and it just progressed. What can I say? I had to turn 36 before I dyed my hair and pierced my nose. If this is a mid-life crisis, it is early, but I’m going with it.

My photog friend, Jennifer is amazing and the pics were more than lovely. When I got them back, I stared hard at the girl in those pics. She looked amazing. And yet, as the thought crossed my mind, I really found myself saying out loud “Sister, you look good.”

I immediately chastised myself. “You cannot say things like that about yourself. You are a mother for crying out loud.”

The Girl In These Pics

The girl in these pics, well she is lacking. In so many ways other than the physical. She was not as skinny as she should be. The lines around her eyes are quite deep. Her laugh lines are rivers and there’s a little too much in the back of those black jeans.

blue haired girl in front of blue wall - loving yourself

 

The girl in these photos loses her patience All. The. Damn. Time. She cusses too much. Her laugh is much too loud for most social situations. And most of the time she is grappling against hell and herself to figure her effing life out. And who in the world told her she should get a nose ring at 37?

And yet…

girl posing in front of blue and red door - self love

This girl has buried a brother, a father and her second mother within months of one another. Tragedy is the badge of courage that marks her shoulder., She has repeated Isaiah 46:4 more times that she can count. So much so that it now is tatted on her body and her heart.

Because God was the only one she believed when He said “I have made you. I will carry you. I will sustain you and I WILL rescue you.” This girl holds tight the redeeming nature of being rescued.

This girl has released the idea of ever birthing her own children. She has looked depression in the eye and whispered “you cannot take me yet, you son of a bitch.” She has tasted years of joy and more than a fair share of bitterness.

What does this girl need? To tell herself she is worth it. So that’s what I did. I gave the girl in these pics the self love she needed and I said it aloud. Again.

Learning Self Love

Why do we as women wait so long to fall in love with ourselves? We spend years, days and commercials teaching self love to our children. We tell them they are precious, unique, worthy of all the good that we have in our lives.

We compliment our girlfriends, our sisters, our spouses and the lady on the subway with the fabulous handbag. Yet, at the end of the day, we stare a mirror and count faults.

When did we stop seeing ourselves as the princesses in the fairytales we read?

I am not saying that we always need a prince. Most of us can slay our own dragons, but we stop short of saying “I’m having a great hair day” or “I love the way this skirt/shoes/etc does for my figure.” When do we as women stop believing that all of us needs to be celebrated…by us?
Maybe it is because we worry that we will be judged even further than we already are. The latest issue of any grocery store magazine or movie will remind you your butt does not look like it did 20 years ago.  But I think it is deeper, harsher than that. We doubt because we forget that we are loved. We lower our expectations and forget to fight for ourselves. Even if that fight is with ourselves.

Yes, the girl in these pics needs to fix a lot of things, but if I forget to tell her how worthy she is, why do I expect anyone else to fill in those gaps? How can I teach my daughter to love who she is unless she see me embracing me as I am?

l3b

If you have not heard that you are beautiful and worth it today, let this be your reminder. But more importantly that me telling you, go find your own girl in the mirror and tell her yourself. She will thank you!

 

Lindsey Andrews
About me

Attorney & Author of I Walk For Water. http://amzn.to/1FWlzpW Loved by hubs, 2 adopted kids, but worshiped by a French bulldog, named Walter.

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34 Comments

Heather Johnson
Reply August 1, 2017

I hope my kids learn to love themselves fully. I am giving them a good start by telling them that I love them each and every day multiple times.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 2, 2017

    Heather-that is such a great parenting tip!

sondra
Reply August 2, 2017

These photos are amazing and you look beautiful and don't ever forget that. I love the idea of self love because it can be very hard for people sometimes.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 2, 2017

    Thank you so much Sondra. Self love is definitely something everyone struggles with during our lives!

Muna Kenny
Reply August 2, 2017

I think we are so busy to think about how much we love ourselves! Work, house, family, friends, we are always busy trying to meet our goals in life and forget to connect with ourselves. Your post touched my heart!

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 2, 2017

    I totally agree Muna! Connecting with ourselves is so important!

Oyinkan Ogunleye
Reply August 3, 2017

Oh girl! It's important to love yourself and say it outloud. Why not?! Bes proud of it and continue to speak it into existence.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 3, 2017

    Preach it girl! If we tell our kids to love themselves, why do we stop with ourselves? Thanks so much for sharing.

Rebecca Swenor
Reply August 3, 2017

I love the saying about " If you don't love yourself than how do you expect others too." It is so true that we need to tell ourselves every day we love ourselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Rebecca Swenor
Reply August 3, 2017

It is so important for us all to tell ourselves that we love ourselves. If we don't love ourselves than how do we expect anyone else too? Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 3, 2017

    Rebecca, I totally agree! Thanks so much for stopping by!

easyblogthemes
Reply August 4, 2017

For me, by loving your self and accepting fully is where loving for others can start. Because you cannot give full love that you didn't experience first hand. So love your self first.

Nancy Andres
Reply August 4, 2017

Way to Go Girl. Self-expression is self-care. Which reminds me: Self-care is a privilege only you can grant yourself." The quotation is from my woman's self care journal, Colors of Joy: A Woman's Guide for Self-Discovery, Balance, and Bliss. Have a fabulous evening.

Becca Talbot
Reply August 5, 2017

As you know from my comment on your Insta, I am seriously LOVING your hair hun! Looks fab on you! As for this post, I couldn't agree more - it's so important to love yourself x

Nicky L Ashworth
Reply August 5, 2017

Thank you for your honesty! I love this post, one of my all time favourite versus: "She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future" Proverbs 31:25

Marlene Wetch
Reply August 5, 2017

I have interviewed lots of women and moms lately and they all tell me that the secret to a happy home stems from self-love first. I think you are on to something here my friend!

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 9, 2017

    Thank you Marlene! I wish I would have started loving myself sooner in life.

Jenn JG
Reply August 5, 2017

This is such a feel good post! I really enjoyed reading about loving yourself. Such a powerful thing that all women and young girls need to learn and continue to remember throughout life. P.S.-Love your hair

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 9, 2017

    Thanks Jenn!

interNATionalcaty
Reply August 6, 2017

I agree. Your first love should always be you. Treat and pamper yourself to the best things life has to offer.

Melanie Frost
Reply August 6, 2017

Girl, you look gorgeous and I love your colored hair. And I think it's so cool that you got a nose ring at 37. You just do you!

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 9, 2017

    Thank you Melanie!

Lisa
Reply August 6, 2017

I really like your hair!!! Yes, we should always love ourselves first. We should trust in God.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 9, 2017

    Thank you Lisa! I completely agree.

On Women's Mind
Reply August 6, 2017

In this busy life we actually forget about ourselves. We become so lost in taking care of family and people around us that we can't find time for loving ourselves, thanks for a great reminder.

Laurali Graham
Reply August 6, 2017

I'm one I think about everyone else and always telling them I love them but really never thought about telling myself that I love me. I will be saying this from now on because I really haven't ever loved myself. Your a beautiful lady thank you for sharing this post.

Analie from Get A Happy Date
Reply August 7, 2017

Congratulations on having your new pictures taken. I also want to have professionally-taken photos.

PS, you are gorgeous in those shots. Just love yourself always.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 9, 2017

    Thank you so much Analie! Go get those pics taken. You will not regret it.

Dinesh
Reply August 7, 2017

Seen so many people struggle with self image issues. Self love is something we all lack

Anos
Reply August 7, 2017

Learning about yourself and loving your own self is really the first thing to do. How will you be able to share yourself if you don't love yourself. Cheers to a happy life!

David Elliott
Reply August 7, 2017

You are stunning even in the blue hair. Sometimes life is crazy and you have to deal with all kinds of crazy things. That's great that you have been able to see your own self worth. And I have to say that laugh lines means that you do laugh. And that is a beautiful thing.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 9, 2017

    Thank you David! Laughing is definitely one of the best things about getting older. I just have to keep telling myself that laugh lines document the good stuff!

kim
Reply August 8, 2017

What a great post and reminder that we should not beat ourselves up because we have flaws. We should look at what we are blessed with (and this includes our flaws) Love how you use spirituality to emphasize this.

    Lindsey Andrews
    Reply August 9, 2017

    Thank you so much Kim!

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