Dear Bully

I wrote this post a few years ago about one of my kiddos being bullied. I thought with the new year starting and kids heading back to school maybe even the school bully needed to be reminded about we all can come from different places and we are all deserving of love.


Dear Bully,

I know that you didn’t intend to do the harm that you did today at recess. I am sure that it was derived out of childhood ignorance and your inability to yet put yourself in someone else’s shoes. If you knew how much my child has already endured in their short time on earth, I know that you would not have said the things you said. Surely, you failed to realize that I held this child tonight, as she hugged me tightly until she was so tired of crying that she was exhausted and needed sleep more than their mama’s hugs. See, my child’s story is hard. Real. Hard. There are more difficulties than most people face in their entire lives. My children live their story every day. They stare back into faces that do not reflect their own. They have a snapshot of our family that only entices more questions from outsiders because we look different from one another. I know you don’t understand that it must be hard; to you it is only different. But different is SO. Very. Good.
My daughter can make someone laugh to the point of choking; her spirit of fun lights every room she enters. My son. Wow. Talk about the life of the party. He is the most energizing hours I’ve ever spent. You only see them in a school setting and you miss out on all the beautiful that they bring to my life.
Which is why tonight was so difficult. Gut-wrenching as I watched my child recount their day to me and then you came up. You, as someone we’ve never had in our home, never had the opportunity to know. You were a very big topic in our house tonight. And for the first several hours after, I have to confess to you: I wanted to punch you in the mouth. I know that I am an adult and you, but a child, but the mama bear in me came out.
alt tag=dear bully
But then I started praying for you. Most fervently praying for you and your home life. I pray that you are as cherished and adored as the child that I comforted tonight. Sobbing, through their tears, they could not have told you how much they love to make people laugh, the hurt that they have undertaken in their lifetime or the pain that learning everything new in a new world and a new language might effect someone. You weren’t there to see the pain and agony you caused by your lack of understanding and grace.
I pray that your parents spent their blood, sweat, money and tears to bring you into this world. And once you were here, it was only to tell you each and every day that you are one of the most amazing gifts that the world has ever been received. You see, adopted or not, our child, the one you reduced to tears tonight, the adopted daddy and I; we fought for our kids. We traveled thousands of miles and spent money that we didn’t have for these kids. For you to try and diminish that in anyway; well tonight, I’m chalking it up to your age and inexperience. I’m also praying that your parents fought that hard for you; every child deserves at least that much. I hope one day you will know what a gift to this world that you really are and you will stop using words and actions to hurt others, because ALL kids are considered gifts to those who love them.
A Very Heartbroken Mama
Lindsey Andrews
About me

Attorney & Author. Always in search for daily joy.


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